The Karma of Being Alive

A spiritualist's prose on this election...

It's funny, google defines a spiritualist in two ways:

spir·it·u·al·ist

noun

plural noun: spiritualists

1. a person who believes that the spirits of the dead can communicate with living people. and

2. an advocate of the doctrine that the spirit exists as distinct from matter, or that spirit is the only reality.
   

My only modification to these definitions is that I believe spirit exists "indistinct" from matter. I've been in spaces of consciousness during heightened Kundalini activations where I could fully understand that the threads of the carpet I was paralyzed on were just as much of God as Jesus himself, and that's in no way meant to be disrespect to Jesus, I believe he could see the same thing, that's why he healed with dirt. Those who have been there will understand... And it was wild, and I'm, by no means, at that level of awareness every day. No one is, and anyone who says they are is lying.

So why then would someone who understands this level of connection, this level of oneness, vote in an election? I've been grappling with this and honestly, felt a bit of shame. So I checked in with my guides. I called them in and asked them to help me find reason and purpose for exercising my perceived "right" to vote. I asked if they were disappointed in me, like this was a whole different layer of codependency I thought I had worked through.

First, let me rewind to 2016. I was two-and-a-half years out of college, and completely indoctrinated. I don't say that as a right-wing or left-wing anything. I hold no title politically. If I were to describe my stance in any way, it would be"sovereign." My Soul's theme song would be"Don't Fence Me In", but I digress.

Anyway, I was "drinking the kool-aid", and I distinctly remember walking home from voting in the primaries with a heart full of hope I hadn't felt in a long time because I finally felt there was a candidate that was anti-establishment enough and going to do something meaningful with our tax dollars. He spoke about the corrupt elites, he released the Panama papers, and his rallies felt like peace compared to the madness and hate the other anti-establishment candidate, reportedly, hosted. I was "progressive", or so I thought. And then the primaries were rigged and that candidate was quickly shuffled out of the spotlight and silenced. And I was mad, but I still "drank the Kool-Aid."

When the election ended in 2016, I had a come-to-Jesus moment. I thought it was all over, that our democracy was done. And so I asked myself, what would make me happy? I had been depressed since I left college. I couldn't find a job, I had wracked up a credit card to figure out why my hair was falling out at an alarming rate, and I was tired of feeling stuck. So I decided to sell my shit, break up with my boyfriend at the time, and move back to the other corner of the U.S. where I felt happy last.

In a small apartment on Boston Ave, in Medford, Massachusetts, I had my first spiritual awakening. For about a week, I could hear my guides, and I was channeling incredible amounts of text.I had an evening where I could hardly move while soaking up this incredible energy, where I felt oneness with all, had no worries, and at the same time, great grief for the person I no longer was. I had left everything I knew to start over, including my family, and I had decided I was "on my own." In part, my estrangement was because of this Kool-Aid I was drinking that made me stick out like a sore thumb. I felt really misunderstood by my family and neglected, and what hurt the most was they never tried to get to know me for who I was. So this ideology became a large thread I wove the fabric of my life with. I wore it like a badge of honor.

Two years later, I felt like the country was fine, thriving actually. I could live comfortably, afford food, put a full tank of gas in my car, and even decorate my apartment. I was engaged to marry someone who wasn't from this country and was so proud of him, and even though he came with a warning of the things that happened in his country, I still "drank" this Kool-Aid.

Then came 2020, and despite the economic boom we had just came out of, the world fell apart and it was so confusing to know what to listen to. I started a corporate career, and when voting came around, though reluctant, I drank the Kool-Aid and voted despite being fairly impressed and starting to question the intentions of the media and the sources and money trails that are attached to all headlines. And the country seemed to spiral, economically and otherwise, into a hole, and I was mortified that I contributed to the system.

In 2022 I had the final stage of my spiritual awakening. This stage brought with it the awareness of the corrupt systems that were active, not only in America but on Earth. It birthed an awareness of the interests of evil that are fully intact and alive here, and the knowing was and is undeniable. There was no way of denying it and it has been confirmed to me over and over in ways I can't even explain.

So when I woke up on November 5 and felt the dire need to participate in a system that's a fabrication of this illusion we all exist in. That perpetuates the outsourcing of our divine sovereignty to a figurehead and system that is completely corrupt and all a distraction. I paused and promised myself it would be the last time.

And so to you, dear reader, if you have made it this far, also struggle with why you, a spiritualist, participated in this election, here are the words from my guides: "Of course, dear one, we could never be disappointed in you. We are human in our hearts, and we understand the immense pressure humanity is under in this moment. This is simply the karma of being alive, of experience, and you can not agree to come into physicality without participating in physical things sometimes. Remember your ego is still here, still alive, and it still needs a voice. There are levels of ego that transform slower than others, but it will never be completely dead. Trust that this experience was one you needed to heal and to transcend the aspects of the personality self that feels it's been trapped in tyranny for eternity. Your soul knows the truth, and you will always be free. Have fun in the grand illusion. Vote, or don't vote, it doesn't matter. The karma will always be there, as long as you have lives to live. As long as you know yourself and all those you see as free, as sovereign, so will it be."

I hope this brings you, if anything, peace.